Offering and Saying Thank You

Safety

When food is offered, check the allergy list for every child who is offered it.
Snack pieces follow AAP choking guidance for children under 4 (soft slices, quartered grapes, no whole nuts, no popcorn), and children wash hands before taking food and sit to eat.

Presentation

1
Say 'please' and 'thank you' yourself in every exchange with a child or adult, including when a child hands you something.
2
For the acted lesson, sit with one or two children and the partner adult. Hold the bowl.
3
Hold the bowl out in front of the partner and say: 'Would you like one?'
4
The partner takes one and says: 'Yes, please. Thank you.' Answer: 'You're welcome.'
5
Offer to the child next. Accept any answer: a hand reaching, a head shake, or words. When the child says no or shakes their head, say: 'No, thank you. All right,' and move on.
6
Hand the bowl to the child and invite them to offer it to the partner. Say 'thank you' for the partner if needed.
7
Do not ask the child to say 'please' or 'thank you'. Say the words yourself and wait; the child uses them when they are ready.

Extensions, easiest to hardest

Offer snack to a friend at the snack table
Offer a basket of scarves or books to a small group
Hand an object to the adult when asked and hear 'thank you'

Control of error

The other person's response shows whether the offer was understood; a grab or no reply shows the bowl was not held out or the person did not see it.

Ready to move on when the child…

Holds out the bowl and waits for the person to take one
Moves on without pushing the bowl again when someone says no
Says or signs 'thank you' or 'please' sometimes without a prompt

Guide note

Prompting a toddler with 'What do you say?' or holding an item back until they say 'please' turns the words into a condition for getting the item. The adult saying the words every time is how toddlers learn them.