Safety

  • Release the child at pickup only to adults on the family's authorized list, and record arrival and departure as licensing requires.
  • A comfort object from home must not fit in the small parts test cylinder (1.25 in. × 2.25 in.) and has no loose cords or buttons.

Presentation

  1. 1

    Before the first day, agree with the family on one short goodbye they will use every day, for example a hug and 'Goodbye. I will come back after rest.'

  2. 2

    Meet the child and family at the door. Kneel to the child's eye level and greet them by name.

  3. 3

    Wait while the child hangs their bag and coat with the family member, or with you.

  4. 4

    The family member says the agreed goodbye and leaves. They never leave without saying goodbye, even when the child is busy.

  5. 5

    Stay close to the child. Name what you see: 'You are sad. Papa went to work. He will come back after rest.'

  6. 6

    Offer comfort and, when the child is ready, a familiar work or the window to wave goodbye.

  7. 7

    Use the same goodbye yourself: when you leave the room for a break or at the end of your shift, tell the child you are leaving and who will be with them.

  8. 8

    At pickup, say: 'Your mama is here.' Say goodbye to the child by name and tell them when you will see them again.

Extensions, easiest to hardest

  1. The child waves goodbye at the window
  2. The child says or signs 'bye' to the family member
  3. The child greets the caregiver first and then says goodbye to the family member

Control of error

None in the material; the adult observes how long the child takes to settle each day and whether it gets shorter over the weeks.

Ready to move on when the child…

  • Separates from the family member within a few minutes, with or without crying
  • Goes to the caregiver or a work after the goodbye
  • Waves or says goodbye at arrival or pickup

Guide note

Many Montessori 0–3 programs start new children with a phased start, a family member present for the first days and the time apart growing each day. A family member who leaves without a goodbye while the child is busy usually leads to more distress the next day, not less. Tell families this in the first meeting.

Try “pink tower”, “tummy”, “diaper”, “grace and courtesy”, or “October”.